Blue Hair & The Kingdom of God

Posted on by Poppy

Look at me with the snazzy title today! So if you haven’t already guessed it, I colored my hair blue:

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I was a tad bit nervous at first, but now I’m just excited that I took the plunge! In other news, I really can’t believe it’s already Easter week.

This lenten season has been pretty epic for me, and I’ve learned so much. For the past few weeks I’ve been meditating on the idea of God establishing his kingdom in my heart. As I’ve been asking myself some hard questions, the truth has become clearer and clearer to me. I belive God’s kingdom was established  here on this earth through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Now when I take that concept and turn it inward, I can feel the challenge stirring.

If God’s kingdom is established via death, in what ways do I need to die to my own selfishness to see more of the kingom in my own heart?

Questions like this are what’s stirring in my heart, and as we get closer to Good Friday they get louder and louder.  My heart hears the call, and the call is leading to calvary. To death.

It’s time for me to give up control. For reals this time. Not just by saying the words, but by actually waking up everyday and making the conscious effort to listen for God’s will. Instead of my own. I’m learning that surrender is tough, and it’s not just a one time choice. It’s a decision that’s made over and over again each day.

I’m praying God would give me the courage to begin to let go and surrender.

 

Home…

Posted on by Poppy

I know I’ve spoken about my love for Ibiza before, but let me gush some more! I’m super excited because I’ll be heading to the white isle in April of this year. I am counting down the days. I’m headed out to do some work with an amazing Christian charity on the island. 24-7 Ibiza has been in the West End of San Antonio for several years, and one day I’m gonna sell everything I own and go live there full time! Until that time I will continue to visit and tell everyone I know about this amazing place.

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It’s a little bittersweet because I’ll only be on the island for about 7 days. It’ll be good to be back, but I know it’ll be so sad when I have to leave! I’m so thankful for the opportunity go this year, and have been praying a lot during Lent that God would open the door for me to go full time. I truly do believe that God has called me to this place, and so I’m trusting him with the timing. If you want to learn more about my Ibiza journey, check out my Ibiza blog.

Today’s Prayer

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“Take Lord and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding and my entire will. All I have and call my own you have given all to me. To you Lord I return it. Everything is yours. Do with it what you will. Give me only your love and grace. That is enough for me.”

 – St Ignatius Loyola

Confrontation

Posted on by Poppy

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We’re getting to almost two weeks in, and this Lent has really been amazing for me. Mostly because I’ve actually been present! Woo Hoo!

Today while reading through my devotional I had a kind of epiphany. I realized how much my core fear actually stops me from serving God to my fullest.  A core fear is kind of like a motivating fear. If we let it, that fear can really begin to be the basis for all our decisions. My core fear is that I’m not good enough, and when I’m not careful I let that take over everything.

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Today’s scripture reading was from Mark 8:31-38. As I read it, I was reminded how offensive Jesus was to some people. I think overtime we’ve really forgotten how scandalous Jesus was! He said and did things that  enraged people. But Jesus expected that, and in Mark lets us know that if we follow him, we can expect the same thing.

I hate confrontation. It’s a hatred that comes from a pretty volatile family life, and one I’ve been fine to hold on to. Today I realized how much I work to make sure I’m understood and liked (remember that core fear I was talking about earlier?!).  When it comes to sharing Christ, I realize that I’m sometimes too hesitant. I’m worried that people will be offended, but the truth is that I should expect that!  The message of Jesus is light confronting darkness, and the darkness is fighting to stay. I probably don’t need to say it, but I will anyway…this doesn’t mean yelling at people, or shaming them in the name of being bold for Christ (come on people).

I read this fantastic quote by Francis Schaeffer the other day:

“Truth Carries with it confrontation. Truth demands confrontation; loving confrontation, but confrontation nevertheless.”

Jesus came to this earth armed with truth and unfailing love. He healed people and fed them physically and spiritually, but his message was still not received by everyone. As I follow him, I’m challenged to love and to bring healing wherever I go, no matter the response.

Listening and Hearing

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Today I was thinking that I really want to keep this sense of awareness I’ve found during Lent. It’s been my prayer that I would stop living on auto pilot, and the cool thing is I can see that prayer getting answered! The Eastern religious practice of mindfulness is super popular right now, and I love the Idea of consciously being present in the moment.

  • Am I aware of what God is trying to speak to me each day?
  • Am listening for the guidance of the Holy Spirit in my day to day life?

When I’m on auto pilot the answer is a big  fat NO! During Lent I’ve been using this amazing devotional by N.T. Wright

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Today’s reading came from Mark 4:23-25 and it’s sat with me all day. After telling the crowd a parable, Jesus says this:

“Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.” Then he added, “Pay close attention to what you hear. The closer you listen, the more understanding you will be given —and you will receive even more. To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.”

It reminded me how important is is to meditate on God’s word. I’ve been thinking a lot today about what it means for me to dig deeper. When I hear a truth that impacts me, I want it to go deeper than the surface. I want to be able to look back and see that truth ingrained in my life.

Check out this  awesome quote –

“Reading the bible without meditating on it is like trying to eat with out swallowing.”

I love that they used food in this analogy, because food is nourishing. If you don’t swallow it and just have the taste in your mouth it doesn’t really do you any good. In the same way God’s word is nourishing to our Spirit and brings us life. I want every ounce of nutrient I can get out to it!

On a completely different note, soda is the devil and I vow to stay away from it forever!!! The caffeine withdrawal headaches are slowly abating, and grumpy Poppy is a faint memory (hopefully)soda-devil-drink

 

Smiling on a Crappy Day

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So yesterday was the best of times and the worst of times. Because of the holiday on Monday, when I got to work there was a mountain of things to do. Accompanied of course with the stress of a deadline. The funny thing is that even though my circumstances were kind of crappy, I had a great day. I spent some time in prayer in the morning before work, and it definitely made all the difference. I’ve found myself with a better attitude, and with more focus through out my day.

After work I headed home and found myself with lots of time to read and even begin working through some of the things in my Journal. I mentioned in yesterday’s post that I’ve been kind of consumed with Fallout 4 (insert girly squeal). Well I’m happy to report that I had a successful PS4 free day!

Goodbye Coke Zero

One of the things I’ve chose to give up during Lent is soda. It’s been a tough road and I’m amazed at how crazy the withdrawals are! It’s definitely motivation to just give it up all together.

See you tomorrow!

 

 

Lent vs Fallout 4

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I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned so far this Lent is that my life is so LOUD! I think my heart wants to make space for God, but my actions don’t really back that up. Lent has been a real eye opener for me as I take stock of things in Poppy Land. Like a squirrel spotting something shiny in the wild, I can be easily distracted.

Recently I got a PS4, and I’m wondering what I did with my time before that! For the past few weeks I’ve been lost in the black hole that is Fallout 4.

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Now of course there’s nothing wrong with playing on my PS4, but when I start to spend upwards of 5 – 6 hours a day on it (no comment), then we have a problem. This week I’m challenging myself to lay the controller down, and put my focus elsewhere.

Yesterday I was flipping through a journal I’m almost done with, and I realized I still have a lot of stuff I need to process through. About a year and a half ago I had a pretty impactful spiritual conversation with someone. I left that conversation with lots to work and pray through. I realized yesterday that I haven’t really done that. Learning new truths is awesome, but it doesn’t mean much if we don’t follow through!

That’s the goal this week…

 

Lent Update 2016

Posted on by Poppy

Ash Wednesday 

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I don’t know if I mentioned it last week, but this was my first time attending an Ash Wednesday service. I’ve participated in Lent for the last few years,  but this year I felt compelled to go. I’m so glad I did!

First off, I want to admit I was a little nervous! Mostly because I’ve never been to a Catholic church, and didn’t know what was expected of me. My overactive imagination had me doing something to offend the priest, who would of course then ban me for life. That of course did not happen (phew!).

I found a church about a mile away from my house and went to a service before work at 7:15. Two things impacted me during the service. The first was one of the readings  that morning from Joel 2:12-18. What a powerful bit of scripture, which is just perfect for the call to Lent for me this year. Then came the ashes. As I stood in line, I could hear the priest repeating something to each person, and when it was my turn I could hear him speak clearly:

“Remember from the dust you came, and to the dust you shall return.”

Those words felt like they were calling me to humility, and all through out the day I could hear them resounding in my ears.

Next Week

I sat down today and wrote out a few goals for myself next week. After experiencing a few days of Lent, I’m noticing a few things. One is that it’s super easy to get distracted! It’s been really easy to just slip back into my regular pattern of life and I don’t want to do that. One way I’m going to combat that next week is by blogging every day!

Lastly, I wanted to share few awesome resources that have been helpful to me.

– 24/7 Prayer does an amazing podcast for Lent and Advent each year. The series for Lent last year was all about The Examen, and was hugely impactful to my spiritual life.

 

– I love a good sermon podcast and just today I discovered The Practice. It’s a church experiment that comes out of Willow Creek, and I’m secretly in love with it! The sermon for 1/31 was done by Mark Scandrette and was so good, I’ve listened to it twice! Find it HERE.